Guess who’s back?
On Thursday, Tiger Woods made his return to professional golf on day one of the Masters at Augusta, but he wasn’t alone.
Yeah, there were obviously other guys golfing, but Tiger had an “army” of NINETY bodyguards according to Britain’s The Daily Mail. That includes some former FBI and Secret Service agents and armed deputies.
What are they worried about?
Believed it or not, as the Daily Mail reports, “the unprecedented security is in place because of fears he may be confronted by one of his 15 alleged mistresses.”
Woods needs the Secret Service, on top of the 200 regular security guards already working the tournament, because he’s scared that someone he slept with might come say hello?
Apparently if one of his super-mistresses manages to pierce the outer layer of security forces, they’ll be confronted with his “last line of defense” – eight bodyguards surrounding the 34-year-old.
It seems some of those bodyguards are being a little too proactive though – Britain’s The Sun reports that (at least) one woman was approached with this question:
“Excuse me ma’am – are you the stripper?”
Also – what’s with this new Nike commercial?
Follow Tiger’s progress at the Masters here.
Slump? What Slump?
The Major League Baseball season began last weekend and this may be the best story we hear all year:
After starting the first two games of the season without a hit, reporters in Boston apparently got on David Ortiz about a “slow start,” reminding him that he had a tough go in the first couple of months last year as well.
What happened next was fantastic – Big Papi flipped out! Here it is from ESPN:
"You guys wait 'til [expletive] happens, then you can talk [expletive]. Two [expletive] games, and already you [expletives] are going crazy.
"What's up with that, man? [Expletive]. [Expletive] 160 games left. That's a [expletive]. One of you [expletives] got to go ahead and hit for me."
Personally, I love how they put [expletive] in place of all the swear words. I think I might start doing that. [Expletive].
Hard Done By
New York Yankees president Randy Levine had some pretty good quotes this week too, throwing some heat at the owner of the Milwaukee Brewers.
After hearing that Mark Attanasio was having trouble re-signing first baseman Prince Fielder, Levine basically told him to shut up.
"I'm sorry that my friend Mark continues to whine about his running the Brewers. We play by all the rules and there doesn't seem to be any complaints when teams such as the Brewers receive hundreds of millions of dollars that they get from us in revenue sharing the last few years. Take some of that money that you get from us and use that to sign your players."
“The question that should be asked is: Where has the hundreds of millions of dollars in revenue sharing gone?"
Oh snap! That’s a good point – if you benefit from a crap load (or an [expletive] load) of basically free money, don’t complain about not being able to sign your stars.
I think it’s great that someone called him out!
Making a spelling mistake in something like a blog is one thing – but on your team’s jersey, well that’s a whole other ballgame.
Remember last year when a couple players from the Washington Nationals had their jerseys read the “Natinals?” This time in happened in San Francisco.
Eugenio Velez made his season debut late in the game with a jersey that read “San Francicso” across the front.
He said after the game that he didn’t even notice…how do these things even happen?